Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2019 5:25:10 GMT
www.google.com/amp/s/www.goalcast.com/2017/06/22/6-types-toxic-people-will-drain-energy/amp/1. People who avoid responsibility There exist people who are unable to assume the responsibility for their actions. They’re prone to blaming others for their own mistakes. That kind of person will have a negative influence on your life. They aren’t able to change their attitude, and you are going to become their victim sooner or later. They are bound to find a way for burdening you with their responsibilities. 2. Self-destructive people Some people tend to become defensive when you point out their lapses of judgment. They want your pity, help and attention, but they’re not really interested in solving their own problems. If you feel that one of your friends needs that kind of support all the time, you can be sure that your friendship will sooner or later lead to stress and frustration. 3. People who just criticize Nobody is perfect. Yet just because you have your flaws that you’re struggling to overcome, it doesn’t mean that someone should point them out to you all the time. There is a difference between expressing one’s concern honestly and constructively, and pointing out the weakness in order to attack someone. If one of your friends is quick to emphasize your flaws and frequently criticizes your behavior, you are dealing with a toxic person that you should definitely avoid. Otherwise, you risk them wearing down your self-esteem. 4. Emotional vampires Emotional vampires come in many shapes and sizes. Some people like to be pitied for problems they cannot solve, while others like to constantly speak badly about other people. Some will try to control your opinions about topics, and others will point out all the flaws in your behavior. Some might seek company in judging others, or challenge you every time you cross paths. 5. People who are always jealous You might know a person who tends to minimize your accomplishments or strengths in order to make themselves feel better. They might also be jealousof your good fortune. You don’t need these kinds of toxic people in your life either. Avoid people who aren’t able to be happy for you and for your success and who can’t appreciate your hard work, simply because they can’t put so much effort into things they love. Real friends will always be genuinely happy for you. They won’t try to diminish your happiness with negative reactions. They will never try to make you feel guilty for sharing your happiness with them. 6. People who care about their image too much This toxic type is quite interesting. You’ve probably met someone who always looks so polished on the outside, but their inside doesn’t really match their beautiful appearance. These people are simply afraid to be honest. They don’t really know themselves and they don’t want anyone else to know them either. They just want other people to see the filtered version of themselves.
|
|
|
Post by ML on Jan 7, 2019 9:53:29 GMT
www.google.com/amp/s/www.goalcast.com/2017/06/22/6-types-toxic-people-will-drain-energy/amp/1. People who avoid responsibility There exist people who are unable to assume the responsibility for their actions. They’re prone to blaming others for their own mistakes. That kind of person will have a negative influence on your life. They aren’t able to change their attitude, and you are going to become their victim sooner or later. They are bound to find a way for burdening you with their responsibilities. 2. Self-destructive people Some people tend to become defensive when you point out their lapses of judgment. They want your pity, help and attention, but they’re not really interested in solving their own problems. If you feel that one of your friends needs that kind of support all the time, you can be sure that your friendship will sooner or later lead to stress and frustration. 3. People who just criticize Nobody is perfect. Yet just because you have your flaws that you’re struggling to overcome, it doesn’t mean that someone should point them out to you all the time. There is a difference between expressing one’s concern honestly and constructively, and pointing out the weakness in order to attack someone. If one of your friends is quick to emphasize your flaws and frequently criticizes your behavior, you are dealing with a toxic person that you should definitely avoid. Otherwise, you risk them wearing down your self-esteem. 4. Emotional vampires Emotional vampires come in many shapes and sizes. Some people like to be pitied for problems they cannot solve, while others like to constantly speak badly about other people. Some will try to control your opinions about topics, and others will point out all the flaws in your behavior. Some might seek company in judging others, or challenge you every time you cross paths. 5. People who are always jealous You might know a person who tends to minimize your accomplishments or strengths in order to make themselves feel better. They might also be jealousof your good fortune. You don’t need these kinds of toxic people in your life either. Avoid people who aren’t able to be happy for you and for your success and who can’t appreciate your hard work, simply because they can’t put so much effort into things they love. Real friends will always be genuinely happy for you. They won’t try to diminish your happiness with negative reactions. They will never try to make you feel guilty for sharing your happiness with them. 6. People who care about their image too much This toxic type is quite interesting. You’ve probably met someone who always looks so polished on the outside, but their inside doesn’t really match their beautiful appearance. These people are simply afraid to be honest. They don’t really know themselves and they don’t want anyone else to know them either. They just want other people to see the filtered version of themselves. Good post. Thanks!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2019 21:14:02 GMT
www.google.com/amp/s/www.goalcast.com/2017/06/22/6-types-toxic-people-will-drain-energy/amp/1. People who avoid responsibility There exist people who are unable to assume the responsibility for their actions. They’re prone to blaming others for their own mistakes. That kind of person will have a negative influence on your life. They aren’t able to change their attitude, and you are going to become their victim sooner or later. They are bound to find a way for burdening you with their responsibilities. 2. Self-destructive people Some people tend to become defensive when you point out their lapses of judgment. They want your pity, help and attention, but they’re not really interested in solving their own problems. If you feel that one of your friends needs that kind of support all the time, you can be sure that your friendship will sooner or later lead to stress and frustration. 3. People who just criticize Nobody is perfect. Yet just because you have your flaws that you’re struggling to overcome, it doesn’t mean that someone should point them out to you all the time. There is a difference between expressing one’s concern honestly and constructively, and pointing out the weakness in order to attack someone. If one of your friends is quick to emphasize your flaws and frequently criticizes your behavior, you are dealing with a toxic person that you should definitely avoid. Otherwise, you risk them wearing down your self-esteem. 4. Emotional vampires Emotional vampires come in many shapes and sizes. Some people like to be pitied for problems they cannot solve, while others like to constantly speak badly about other people. Some will try to control your opinions about topics, and others will point out all the flaws in your behavior. Some might seek company in judging others, or challenge you every time you cross paths. 5. People who are always jealous You might know a person who tends to minimize your accomplishments or strengths in order to make themselves feel better. They might also be jealousof your good fortune. You don’t need these kinds of toxic people in your life either. Avoid people who aren’t able to be happy for you and for your success and who can’t appreciate your hard work, simply because they can’t put so much effort into things they love. Real friends will always be genuinely happy for you. They won’t try to diminish your happiness with negative reactions. They will never try to make you feel guilty for sharing your happiness with them. 6. People who care about their image too much This toxic type is quite interesting. You’ve probably met someone who always looks so polished on the outside, but their inside doesn’t really match their beautiful appearance. These people are simply afraid to be honest. They don’t really know themselves and they don’t want anyone else to know them either. They just want other people to see the filtered version of themselves. I think I have at certain points in my life exhibited all of these traits to some degree and have been (and still am) on the receiving end of some of these traits. I do not (nor ever have), however, consider (considered) myself to be toxic or narcissistic. I feel that having 'walked in someones shoes' gives one understanding and empathy, that is not to say that I am not sometimes reactive or wounded when on the receiving end of these traits , however, I am able to move out of the reaction and look at the situation sympathetically... that is not to say that it does not repeat... I sometimes think it is a never ending story hehe Some of what I learned in A Course in Miracles has really stayed with me, in this regard "the attempt to escape from one illusion into another will fail" i.e. unless the issue is resolved internally rather than removing oneself from the situation, it will resurface.
|
|
|
Post by ML on Jan 9, 2019 0:45:11 GMT
www.google.com/amp/s/www.goalcast.com/2017/06/22/6-types-toxic-people-will-drain-energy/amp/1. People who avoid responsibility There exist people who are unable to assume the responsibility for their actions. They’re prone to blaming others for their own mistakes. That kind of person will have a negative influence on your life. They aren’t able to change their attitude, and you are going to become their victim sooner or later. They are bound to find a way for burdening you with their responsibilities. 2. Self-destructive people Some people tend to become defensive when you point out their lapses of judgment. They want your pity, help and attention, but they’re not really interested in solving their own problems. If you feel that one of your friends needs that kind of support all the time, you can be sure that your friendship will sooner or later lead to stress and frustration. 3. People who just criticize Nobody is perfect. Yet just because you have your flaws that you’re struggling to overcome, it doesn’t mean that someone should point them out to you all the time. There is a difference between expressing one’s concern honestly and constructively, and pointing out the weakness in order to attack someone. If one of your friends is quick to emphasize your flaws and frequently criticizes your behavior, you are dealing with a toxic person that you should definitely avoid. Otherwise, you risk them wearing down your self-esteem. 4. Emotional vampires Emotional vampires come in many shapes and sizes. Some people like to be pitied for problems they cannot solve, while others like to constantly speak badly about other people. Some will try to control your opinions about topics, and others will point out all the flaws in your behavior. Some might seek company in judging others, or challenge you every time you cross paths. 5. People who are always jealous You might know a person who tends to minimize your accomplishments or strengths in order to make themselves feel better. They might also be jealousof your good fortune. You don’t need these kinds of toxic people in your life either. Avoid people who aren’t able to be happy for you and for your success and who can’t appreciate your hard work, simply because they can’t put so much effort into things they love. Real friends will always be genuinely happy for you. They won’t try to diminish your happiness with negative reactions. They will never try to make you feel guilty for sharing your happiness with them. 6. People who care about their image too much This toxic type is quite interesting. You’ve probably met someone who always looks so polished on the outside, but their inside doesn’t really match their beautiful appearance. These people are simply afraid to be honest. They don’t really know themselves and they don’t want anyone else to know them either. They just want other people to see the filtered version of themselves. I think I have at certain points in my life exhibited all of these traits to some degree and have been (and still am) on the receiving end of some of these traits. I do not (nor ever have), however, consider (considered) myself to be toxic or narcissistic. I feel that having 'walked in someones shoes' gives one understanding and empathy, that is not to say that I am not sometimes reactive or wounded when on the receiving end of these traits , however, I am able to move out of the reaction and look at the situation sympathetically... that is not to say that it does not repeat... I sometimes think it is a never ending story hehe Some of what I learned in A Course in Miracles has really stayed with me, in this regard "the attempt to escape from one illusion into another will fail" i.e. unless the issue is resolved internally rather than removing oneself from the situation, it will resurface. I feel lots of wisdom here. Thanks
|
|
|
Post by IW on Jan 9, 2019 8:01:22 GMT
I agree with Miron, great post Barbara. Thanks for sharing.
I'd like to add that if you look at toxic or narcissistic people-- They might intellectually understand the concept of walking in another person's shoes, but whatever understanding they have about it is used only to sharpen the blade of their trade.
This means that they add to their "accomplishment" of how well they are able to be how they will be. This is an improvement not of self, but of their toxicity or vampirism etc.
Your ability "to move out of reactive or wounded" is a good test of not being narcissistic as they are unable to get past this stage in general.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2019 11:01:12 GMT
I think I have at certain points in my life exhibited all of these traits to some degree and have been (and still am) on the receiving end of some of these traits. I do not (nor ever have), however, consider (considered) myself to be toxic or narcissistic. I feel that having 'walked in someones shoes' gives one understanding and empathy, that is not to say that I am not sometimes reactive or wounded when on the receiving end of these traits , however, I am able to move out of the reaction and look at the situation sympathetically... that is not to say that it does not repeat... I sometimes think it is a never ending story hehe Some of what I learned in A Course in Miracles has really stayed with me, in this regard "the attempt to escape from one illusion into another will fail" i.e. unless the issue is resolved internally rather than removing oneself from the situation, it will resurface. Thanks Barbara! It makes me think about myself as well. I still perceive feelings as guilt and shame, due to my upbringing in this life. I can now see my earth parents as good teachers, because through the suffering I went through, I learned to find my true self. I can even say I am grateful of the experience I had. It helped me in letting go of what happened. Thanks to my inner guidance/higher self and the help of a very dear friend, I now realize that there is NOTHING to feel guilty about, that there is nothing to feel ashamed about. We all make mistakes and these help us in growing and blossoming (yes that is why I chose my avatar name). I entirely agree with what you wrote about escaping from illusions. As long as we are not conscious of what is happening, we just hide and mask those emotions within ourself and they will keep resurfacing, as long as we don't become conscious and resolve them. We cannot just say, I don't focus upon them anymore and only focus on positive things. This won't work at all!
|
|
|
Post by girlscout on Jan 9, 2019 13:45:44 GMT
I think I have at certain points in my life exhibited all of these traits to some degree and have been (and still am) on the receiving end of some of these traits. I do not (nor ever have), however, consider (considered) myself to be toxic or narcissistic. I feel that having 'walked in someones shoes' gives one understanding and empathy, that is not to say that I am not sometimes reactive or wounded when on the receiving end of these traits , however, I am able to move out of the reaction and look at the situation sympathetically... that is not to say that it does not repeat... I sometimes think it is a never ending story hehe Some of what I learned in A Course in Miracles has really stayed with me, in this regard "the attempt to escape from one illusion into another will fail" i.e. unless the issue is resolved internally rather than removing oneself from the situation, it will resurface. Thanks Barbara! It makes me think about myself as well. I still perceive feelings as guilt and shame, due to my upbringing in this life. I can now see my earth parents as good teachers, because through the suffering I went through, I learned to find my true self. I can even say I am grateful of the experience I had. It helped me in letting go of what happened. Thanks to my inner guidance/higher self and the help of a very dear friend, I now realize that there is NOTHING to feel guilty about, that there is nothing to feel ashamed about. We all make mistakes and these help us in growing and blossoming (yes that is why I chose my avatar name). I entirely agree with what you wrote about escaping from illusions. As long as we are not conscious of what is happening, we just hide and mask those emotions within ourself and they will keep resurfacing, as long as we don't become conscious and resolve them. We cannot just say, I don't focus upon them anymore and only focus on positive things. This won't work at all! Thanks To all three of you! I almost reverted back to unconscious moving onto the “next” - caught myself and paused enough to be more conscious. Now to incorporate more thought, care, and mindfulness into my day to day. Linear time implies the movement of circumstances, and some are pleasant and some are not. Thanks for being here. <3
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2019 13:48:35 GMT
Griffy when I read your list I have to point to myself on a few of the descriptions. Me in trying to find fault with others has to start by looking at myself. We are all flawed in one way or another. Now I would like to say something about those who avoid responsibility. Seems someone has visited my workplace as that describes half my co-workers
|
|
|
Post by girlscout on Jan 9, 2019 14:35:01 GMT
Griffy when I read your list I have to point to myself on a few of the descriptions. Me in trying to find fault with others has to start by looking at myself. We are all flawed in one way or another. Now I would like to say something about those who avoid responsibility. Seems someone has visited my workplace as that describes half my co-workers And levels of responsibility have come to my attention, too. When I revealed to my counselor that my Best Buddy never told me for YEARS that my “playing footsie” with him caused him to have to re-polish his shoes! One day I asked him how often he polishes them, his response was after he visited with me! i thought this was so “careful of my feelings”, and my counselor said “he was just being responsible “. I hadn’t known that level of responsibility until then!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2019 18:34:54 GMT
I think can recognise a few of these somewhat in myself too, or at least in the past i could. I think it's good to understand how we affect others and be aware of that.
@barbara That's interesting, reminds me I did read somewhere about how course in miracles refers to illusion. And also how we try to find in the other what we lost in ourselves, we escape to a fantasy during this process too. (actually refering to the otherness in a general context and dualism is a common practice in certain social sciences as well). I've heard some good things about ACIM, not too sure about the god stuff in there so I haven't read it much really.
@myka I think perhaps at work people avoid responsibility because they don't get rewarded for it, or can get way with it ;P Some people will try avoid responsibility wherever they can, well I do sometimes but I guess i'm just lazy. Everyone has different balances of traits and such.
|
|
|
Post by IW on Feb 13, 2019 5:39:40 GMT
Rereading this thread, still good.
I think one of the more subtle toxic attributes is trying to change someone else, instead of acceptance. Whatever we might see is "wrong" with someone else, is usually something that is disharmonic within ourselves. This creates a trigger, that for most, stops us from growth.
We must love and accept all parts of ourselves, to be free then, to not be concerned about how or what is going on with someone else. This IMO is the best we can do for others!
All are at their own level of understanding, and all deserve to work out FOR THEMSELVES, what or who they will be.
I do appreciate this forum, that we can share ideas, without the need of conformity. Thanks!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 24, 2019 8:04:46 GMT
Similar stuff but more things on how to deal with toxic people
|
|