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help
Nov 28, 2020 4:59:45 GMT
Post by Lavender on Nov 28, 2020 4:59:45 GMT
I am here typing this because I don't what to do or who to go to. I know none of you can tell me exactly what I need but I'm just desperate for a new perspective.
I have spiritual awareness but I'm not integrating it and I don't know how. I'm just so tired of this place and I'm tired of the people so much that I begin to hate them. I have so much anger in my heart for the selfish and cruel acts of my fellow humans. I know I'm selfish too but I'm finding it so hard not to judge everything and everyone around me.
I have intrusive thoughts about seeing people get tortured. It's disturbing and it just increases my general anxiety here tenfold.
I'm sickened with how self involved people are and the lack of authenticity, not just the fact that people are self involved but the fact that it's become glorified. I'm witnessing so much moral decay it genuinely makes me ill, all the hypersexualization and the new shiny toys shoved in my face 24/7. All wrapped up under the guise of progressivism. I try to retreat into my spirit but that realm is chaotic for me too.
I have dreams about being demon possessed and trying to fight it but ultimately succumbing and feeling the demon take control of my body. Dreams of being covered in bugs. I always wake up horrified.
Wtf is happening to me?
I know this place isn't real and I want to be compassionate and loving but how? I hate the lower density so much. I don't want to thrive in it and I never want to come back here.
I just don't know how to heal.
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help
Nov 28, 2020 5:43:23 GMT
IW and Mari like this
Post by girlscout on Nov 28, 2020 5:43:23 GMT
I am here typing this because I don't what to do or who to go to. I know none of you can tell me exactly what I need but I'm just desperate for a new perspective. I have spiritual awareness but I'm not integrating it and I don't know how. I'm just so tired of this place and I'm tired of the people so much that I begin to hate them. I have so much anger in my heart for the selfish and cruel acts of my fellow humans. I know I'm selfish too but I'm finding it so hard not to judge everything and everyone around me. I have intrusive thoughts about seeing people get tortured. It's disturbing and it just increases my general anxiety here tenfold. I'm sickened with how self involved people are and the lack of authenticity, not just the fact that people are self involved but the fact that it's become glorified. I'm witnessing so much moral decay it genuinely makes me ill, all the hypersexualization and the new shiny toys shoved in my face 24/7. All wrapped up under the guise of progressivism. I try to retreat into my spirit but that realm is chaotic for me too. I have dreams about being demon possessed and trying to fight it but ultimately succumbing and feeling the demon take control of my body. Dreams of being covered in bugs. I always wake up horrified. Wtf is happening to me? I know this place isn't real and I want to be compassionate and loving but how? I hate the lower density so much. I don't want to thrive in it and I never want to come back here. I just don't know how to heal. Hi Lavender, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time of it. First thing I would do is get a medical checkup - make sure your hormones and such are all in the ranges they should be. Next, what worked for me was to volunteer. Something that’s helpful to others. Focusing on those tasks got me out of focusing on how miserable I was. Your life here is real, so it makes sense to try to improve it. I found these resources helpful: projectnatureconnect.org/and www.heartmath.com/experience/Hope this helps.
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help
Nov 28, 2020 13:17:47 GMT
IW likes this
Post by mironlang on Nov 28, 2020 13:17:47 GMT
I am here typing this because I don't what to do or who to go to. I know none of you can tell me exactly what I need but I'm just desperate for a new perspective. I have spiritual awareness but I'm not integrating it and I don't know how. I'm just so tired of this place and I'm tired of the people so much that I begin to hate them. I have so much anger in my heart for the selfish and cruel acts of my fellow humans. I know I'm selfish too but I'm finding it so hard not to judge everything and everyone around me. I have intrusive thoughts about seeing people get tortured. It's disturbing and it just increases my general anxiety here tenfold. I'm sickened with how self involved people are and the lack of authenticity, not just the fact that people are self involved but the fact that it's become glorified. I'm witnessing so much moral decay it genuinely makes me ill, all the hypersexualization and the new shiny toys shoved in my face 24/7. All wrapped up under the guise of progressivism. I try to retreat into my spirit but that realm is chaotic for me too. I have dreams about being demon possessed and trying to fight it but ultimately succumbing and feeling the demon take control of my body. Dreams of being covered in bugs. I always wake up horrified. Wtf is happening to me? I know this place isn't real and I want to be compassionate and loving but how? I hate the lower density so much. I don't want to thrive in it and I never want to come back here. I just don't know how to heal. Lavender, That is a very deep problem. I thought of giving advise but I realize that it will be futile because I might not even be qualified to give advise. What i think might help is to discuss your current situation. why do you have these views and feelings. I am asking these question because maybe we can address something in there that might help you.. 1. Do you live alone? 2. Where do you get the resources for your daily need? 3. If you work , how do you feel while at work? It might be good to discuss the things that are very basic in this world. Thanks
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help
Nov 28, 2020 18:21:42 GMT
via mobile
Post by Lavender on Nov 28, 2020 18:21:42 GMT
I am here typing this because I don't what to do or who to go to. I know none of you can tell me exactly what I need but I'm just desperate for a new perspective. I have spiritual awareness but I'm not integrating it and I don't know how. I'm just so tired of this place and I'm tired of the people so much that I begin to hate them. I have so much anger in my heart for the selfish and cruel acts of my fellow humans. I know I'm selfish too but I'm finding it so hard not to judge everything and everyone around me. I have intrusive thoughts about seeing people get tortured. It's disturbing and it just increases my general anxiety here tenfold. I'm sickened with how self involved people are and the lack of authenticity, not just the fact that people are self involved but the fact that it's become glorified. I'm witnessing so much moral decay it genuinely makes me ill, all the hypersexualization and the new shiny toys shoved in my face 24/7. All wrapped up under the guise of progressivism. I try to retreat into my spirit but that realm is chaotic for me too. I have dreams about being demon possessed and trying to fight it but ultimately succumbing and feeling the demon take control of my body. Dreams of being covered in bugs. I always wake up horrified. Wtf is happening to me? I know this place isn't real and I want to be compassionate and loving but how? I hate the lower density so much. I don't want to thrive in it and I never want to come back here. I just don't know how to heal. Lavender, That is a very deep problem. I thought of giving advise but I realize that it will be futile because I might not even be qualified to give advise. What i think might help is to discuss your current situation. why do you have these views and feelings. I am asking these question because maybe we can address something in there that might help you.. 1. Do you live alone? 2. Where do you get the resources for your daily need? 3. If you work , how do you feel while at work? It might be good to discuss the things that are very basic in this world. Thanks I don't live alone. I live with my partner and his friend. I don't work right now because I lost my job due to the pandemic. I would like to get a job but I don't have means of transportation at the moment and I live with someone immunocompromised. Essentially I've been stuck at home for months. I guess I haven't really been good about addressing my own needs. I try to talk to my partner about what's bothering me but at some point I just don't want to burden him with the negativity in my own head. When I'm at home I don't do much. Mindlessly scroll. Occasionally write in my journal but sometimes it's hard to get anything on to paper. Once in a while go for a walk. I suppose now that I've written it all out it almost seems obvious what the problem is. I just don't know why I have so much darkness in my head. As I'm writing this I've just woken up from another nightmare. If anything I just want my sleep to be a place of rest again.
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Post by Lavender on Nov 28, 2020 18:36:44 GMT
I am here typing this because I don't what to do or who to go to. I know none of you can tell me exactly what I need but I'm just desperate for a new perspective. I have spiritual awareness but I'm not integrating it and I don't know how. I'm just so tired of this place and I'm tired of the people so much that I begin to hate them. I have so much anger in my heart for the selfish and cruel acts of my fellow humans. I know I'm selfish too but I'm finding it so hard not to judge everything and everyone around me. I have intrusive thoughts about seeing people get tortured. It's disturbing and it just increases my general anxiety here tenfold. I'm sickened with how self involved people are and the lack of authenticity, not just the fact that people are self involved but the fact that it's become glorified. I'm witnessing so much moral decay it genuinely makes me ill, all the hypersexualization and the new shiny toys shoved in my face 24/7. All wrapped up under the guise of progressivism. I try to retreat into my spirit but that realm is chaotic for me too. I have dreams about being demon possessed and trying to fight it but ultimately succumbing and feeling the demon take control of my body. Dreams of being covered in bugs. I always wake up horrified. Wtf is happening to me? I know this place isn't real and I want to be compassionate and loving but how? I hate the lower density so much. I don't want to thrive in it and I never want to come back here. I just don't know how to heal. Hi Lavender, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time of it. First thing I would do is get a medical checkup - make sure your hormones and such are all in the ranges they should be. Next, what worked for me was to volunteer. Something that’s helpful to others. Focusing on those tasks got me out of focusing on how miserable I was. Your life here is real, so it makes sense to try to improve it. I found these resources helpful: projectnatureconnect.org/and www.heartmath.com/experience/Hope this helps. Thank you. I'll look into these resources.
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Post by krissiee on Nov 29, 2020 0:10:18 GMT
Lavender Lavender Lavender. Makes me happy just to say it. I'd like to be Gardenia, or maybe Plumeria! Can't decide which. I read your words and a lot of it sounds familiar to me.
The ONLY thing I like about this pandemic(?) is I get to stay home all by myself. In my little studio apartment. Watching my little hummingbirds on the lanai. If they didn't die, I'd have a dog. I can't stand going out to see all the people, even little kids, wearing a mask. It's like I'm watching a horror movie. What the hell is going on around here?
Some of the things I do are before bed put a protection around me. Could be simply saying "I am sovereign". Makes me feel better anyway. Also take melatonin, helps with sleep and the pineal gland.
Don't forget you chose to be here at this time even though it sucks AND you are a spectacularly beautiful human. I can just tell! Kiss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2020 0:46:52 GMT
Lavender your concerns are genuine as an unwanted element of human control has held power here far too long. For anyone who thinks this place is not real let us play a little game. My game is for making a point only and not to be taken personally or practiced literally. For those who think this is not real let’s take your hand and place it on a red hot stove burner for a count of 10. Then when we rip it off we slam the car door on it 3 times. When the intense pain subsides in a month or so and that poor hand never works right again maybe we will wake up to the fact this is real. What is not real is the ego “I” personality that dies along side the body.
We spend far too much time playing victim, blaming one boogyman or another for our being here, our state of affairs and our so called entrapment in the thick of 3D. Do not attach to the ugly moments humans experience. Do not attach to titles as it a bit like putting a spell on yourself. There is more unlearning to do before any meaningful elements of enlightenment will be realized. Take care and be safe.
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Post by OneWhoIsAwake on Nov 29, 2020 3:25:16 GMT
Lavender, That is a very deep problem. I thought of giving advise but I realize that it will be futile because I might not even be qualified to give advise. What i think might help is to discuss your current situation. why do you have these views and feelings. I am asking these question because maybe we can address something in there that might help you.. 1. Do you live alone? 2. Where do you get the resources for your daily need? 3. If you work , how do you feel while at work? It might be good to discuss the things that are very basic in this world. Thanks I don't live alone. I live with my partner and his friend. I don't work right now because I lost my job due to the pandemic. I would like to get a job but I don't have means of transportation at the moment and I live with someone immunocompromised. Essentially I've been stuck at home for months. I guess I haven't really been good about addressing my own needs. I try to talk to my partner about what's bothering me but at some point I just don't want to burden him with the negativity in my own head. When I'm at home I don't do much. Mindlessly scroll. Occasionally write in my journal but sometimes it's hard to get anything on to paper. Once in a while go for a walk. I suppose now that I've written it all out it almost seems obvious what the problem is. I just don't know why I have so much darkness in my head. As I'm writing this I've just woken up from another nightmare. If anything I just want my sleep to be a place of rest again. Lavender,
Sorry that you suffering so much.... I found that it helps to replace the dark thoughts right away with pleasant ones.
Cycling may help your down moods less impact than running & gets the heart rate up more than walking puts more oxygen in the lungs plus increases the positive hormones that the brain needs. Another benefit its another form of transportation to go to work on.
Melatoin may help with the sleep.
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help
Nov 29, 2020 5:53:19 GMT
via mobile
Post by Lavender on Nov 29, 2020 5:53:19 GMT
Lavender Lavender Lavender. Makes me happy just to say it. I'd like to be Gardenia, or maybe Plumeria! Can't decide which. I read your words and a lot of it sounds familiar to me. The ONLY thing I like about this pandemic(?) is I get to stay home all by myself. In my little studio apartment. Watching my little hummingbirds on the lanai. If they didn't die, I'd have a dog. I can't stand going out to see all the people, even little kids, wearing a mask. It's like I'm watching a horror movie. What the hell is going on around here? Some of the things I do are before bed put a protection around me. Could be simply saying "I am sovereign". Makes me feel better anyway. Also take melatonin, helps with sleep and the pineal gland. Don't forget you chose to be here at this time even though it sucks AND you are a spectacularly beautiful human. I can just tell! Kiss. I love Lavender too, it's such a calming and beautiful plant. That's why I chose it as my name here of course. I love all plants and especially trees... I feel so much wisdom and peace exuded from them I'm just finding it incredibly difficult to engage with the real world because of all of the darkness. The suffering is so much. I don't feel like I was ever meant for this world. My dreams are putting me on edge the most, it feels like alarm bells are going off on my head. As if I'm being warned about something. I dreamt that I was being taken away to a prison for some unknown reason and I cried and begged my captors to let me go so I could spend more time with my family. I just feel like no matter how hard I try to detach I feel I have too much to lose. I'm rambling here I know. I'm glad for animals too, I have a cat and I think she can tell when I'm unwell because today she's been especially affectionate. I love her dearly. I suppose being alone has been a nice thing about this pandemic in spite of everything else. It's given me a lot of time to think. Maybe too much? lol Thank you for your kind words. <3
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help
Nov 29, 2020 6:01:26 GMT
via mobile
Post by Lavender on Nov 29, 2020 6:01:26 GMT
Lavender your concerns are genuine as an unwanted element of human control has held power here far too long. For anyone who thinks this place is not real let us play a little game. My game is for making a point only and not to be taken personally or practiced literally. For those who think this is not real let’s take your hand and place it on a red hot stove burner for a count of 10. Then when we rip it off we slam the car door on it 3 times. When the intense pain subsides in a month or so and that poor hand never works right again maybe we will wake up to the fact this is real. What is not real is the ego “I” personality that dies along side the body. We spend far too much time playing victim, blaming one boogyman or another for our being here, our state of affairs and our so called entrapment in the thick of 3D. Do not attach to the ugly moments humans experience. Do not attach to titles as it a bit like putting a spell on yourself. There is more unlearning to do before any meaningful elements of enlightenment will be realized. Take care and be safe. Do you believe the 3D is all we have? How do I detach? I've tried but my only options are to be attached from all experiences or none. I dont think I can pick and choose.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2020 8:37:25 GMT
Lavender your concerns are genuine as an unwanted element of human control has held power here far too long. For anyone who thinks this place is not real let us play a little game. My game is for making a point only and not to be taken personally or practiced literally. For those who think this is not real let’s take your hand and place it on a red hot stove burner for a count of 10. Then when we rip it off we slam the car door on it 3 times. When the intense pain subsides in a month or so and that poor hand never works right again maybe we will wake up to the fact this is real. What is not real is the ego “I” personality that dies along side the body. We spend far too much time playing victim, blaming one boogyman or another for our being here, our state of affairs and our so called entrapment in the thick of 3D. Do not attach to the ugly moments humans experience. Do not attach to titles as it a bit like putting a spell on yourself. There is more unlearning to do before any meaningful elements of enlightenment will be realized. Take care and be safe. Do you believe the 3D is all we have? How do I detach? I've tried but my only options are to be attached from all experiences or none. I dont think I can pick and choose. Hi Lavender. No 3D is not all we have, but we are living right now in 3D to allow us to have experiences in order to grow. Remember, we are not this body, but we need this body and bodymind to be able to go through these experiences. How do I detach? Don't put away your dark thoughts and moments, but learn from them. Go through them one by one and think of how you got there in the first place. What was your exact first thought and emotion related to it? Try to see the whole picture and then question it. The best way is to remain calm and observant while you go through this process. It helps you to become clearer and more in balance, without those magnified emotions causing you to get blinded of what is really happening. How do you question? By analyzing the different aspects in your thought process. Where did all this fear about demons possessing people come from in the first place? Did you read about this? Did you hear others mentioning it? Could it be that your started to believe this stuff and that this became your reality? Remember, you attract what you believe. You might come to some important realizations when you do this. Then start questioning whether this could be real, ask the real you if you can in any way be hurt or possessed. Once again, you attract what you think, so try to state to yourself for example “I can in no possible way be possessed, as long as I am the person I really am”. This is a strong intent you make. This is what is meant by transcending your ego and becoming the person you really are. If you hold this thought in the back of your mind and take the necessary personal responsibility (actions, changes) in your life, this will become your new reality and suffering will go away. This is what is meant by detaching yourself. Does it mean you stop caring ? No, it means you are no longer ruled by your ego and emotions and that you are starting to become the person you really are.
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Post by IW on Nov 29, 2020 16:10:04 GMT
Thanks for sharing Lavender and thanks for sharing too Krissiee!
I agree Lavender is a wonderful name. I have a lavender sachet that I take deep breaths of every once in a while. AHhh, it's so soothing and tension releasing. I keep it in a tiny jar and it seems to last a long time.
It makes me think of how nature is like that. It can be majestic or just a tiny sachet, but any part of nature is wonderful and helpful and so mood enhancing. Maybe you could put a little mist maker in your room and use lavender oil in it and think about how good it smells before bedtime?
I was letting my imagination go while reading this thread and thinking about nature and all the creatures around us, like they are so aware of their environment and always doing their daily business. I was thinking about my troubles and worries, then I decided to give it to an ant. They can carry so much more than I can (for their size), maybe they could take some of my negative thoughts away. Maybe I would roll up some of my frustration and a helpful bird could carry it to a cloud and release it far away. I could even walk to a tree and put my hand on the bark and wonder how it stands so straight and steady, when nothing around it encourages it to be so. I touch the tough bark and look into its' cracks and feel it giving me some of its own wonderful spirit.
When we ask for help there is always help, if we could only see it and understand. Nature is encouraged by our attention to it, and it gives freely and joyfully. Be nourished by it! <3
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help
Feb 23, 2021 20:46:39 GMT
Post by griffo on Feb 23, 2021 20:46:39 GMT
I am here typing this because I don't what to do or who to go to. I know none of you can tell me exactly what I need but I'm just desperate for a new perspective. I have spiritual awareness but I'm not integrating it and I don't know how. I'm just so tired of this place and I'm tired of the people so much that I begin to hate them. I have so much anger in my heart for the selfish and cruel acts of my fellow humans. I know I'm selfish too but I'm finding it so hard not to judge everything and everyone around me. I have intrusive thoughts about seeing people get tortured. It's disturbing and it just increases my general anxiety here tenfold. I'm sickened with how self involved people are and the lack of authenticity, not just the fact that people are self involved but the fact that it's become glorified. I'm witnessing so much moral decay it genuinely makes me ill, all the hypersexualization and the new shiny toys shoved in my face 24/7. All wrapped up under the guise of progressivism. I try to retreat into my spirit but that realm is chaotic for me too. I have dreams about being demon possessed and trying to fight it but ultimately succumbing and feeling the demon take control of my body. Dreams of being covered in bugs. I always wake up horrified. Wtf is happening to me? I know this place isn't real and I want to be compassionate and loving but how? I hate the lower density so much. I don't want to thrive in it and I never want to come back here. I just don't know how to heal. I don't know how things are now if they are better? and What you do is up to you But if perhaps by spiritual awareness you mean psychic powers or similar I would suggest avoid engaging in it because it is a form of ungroundedness Also I reccomend the work of Philip Goddard there is still a thread on here I think ;P But je suggests grounding things like taking walks in nature as well as practical things you can do I think being stuck at home is yeah a frustrating situation and one that kinda gets repetitive With intrusive thoughts just observe them and let them pass is probably the best way as trying to suppress will lead to more troubles. I think other people in the world acting the way they are in a way you just gotta accept how things are apart from doing what you can to make things better for yourself
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